Learning To Love Your Body

I wrote this in my notes one day over the summer, and I thought I would share my thoughts in hopes that I'm not the only one who struggles with this <3

Growing up, I ate whatever I wanted. I was addicted to sweets (still am, lol) and could eat anything I wanted in high school without gaining any weight. I felt invincible to food. 

I went on a new medication at the beginning of my freshman year of college. I didn’t notice at first, but over time I started to gain a ton of weight. My body was changing its routine, I was in a new place, on a new medicine, on my own to make food choices, and I struggled. I gained almost 20 pounds within a year. 

I went from being a skinny without trying body type in high school, to not even recognizing myself. I started to realize my jeans weren’t fitting me. I had to start buying shirts in large sizes instead of mediums. At the end of my freshman year, I decided to get off that medication because of how much weight it was causing me to gain. 

My second year of college is when I started struggling with food. Now that I was off the medicine, I thought all that weight would magically go away, but it didn’t. I started to have a weird relationship with food. I would wait until after noon to have my first meal of the day just because I didn’t want to eat too much food. And I felt like I didn't know how to eat healthily.

I would feel bad and guilty after eating certain foods, knowing I should’ve made a better choice. I would see pictures of myself and hate the way I looked, and I had no idea how to change it. I started slowly losing weight over time, but I still struggled with food and being active. 

I want to eat healthy and live healthy, but I didn’t know how. And it makes it 100x harder when you’re at college and have limited options of places to eat on campus. 

I had to learn to give myself grace. I’m getting older; I’m not always going to be my skinny, small, athletic type-built self that I was in high school forever. My life is changing, and so is my body, and I have to give it grace to do that. 

In the meantime, I need to do my best to take care of it. I realize now that I feel my best when I am drinking lots of water, eating consistent meals and not starving myself, and being active. 

I put too much pressure on myself to eat healthy foods that when I wouldn’t I would beat myself up over it. Or I really wanted to be active and work out but decided not to. 

It’s an up-and-down journey, but I’m the one living in my body, and I have to learn how to best treat it so that it can fully function. I have to learn how to start loving myself for who I am and what I look like. 

The goal of me losing weight is not just to look better but to feel better. I’m doing this for myself and not for anyone else. I don’t find my approval in whether people tell me I look skinny or not. 

I believe God is the creator of all things, and everything He makes is beautiful. The ocean, the sunsets, animals, the mountains, so why would I think any less of myself when I was created by the same Creator? But even more importantly, in the IMAGE of the creator. He sees us as more beautiful than all of his creation. I need to start believing that, and maybe you do too. 

Reminder: Be kind to yourself

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Romans 12:1-2- "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1 Samuel 16:7- "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."