Perfectionism

Are you a people pleaser? Do you ever sit down to spend time with the Lord, and feel as though you took 10 steps backwards instead of 1 step forward all because you were just “too tired” or “not able to focus?” Do you ever leave a gathering with friends and question every move that you made, wondering if they MIGHT have perceived you in the wrong light?

So often we tend to look at “perfectionism” as just a part of who we are that we need to figure out, but no... This can be a legitimate tactic that the enemy uses to knock us off our feet and set us back in our relationship with others as well as in our relationship with Christ.

Sometimes if I sense someone is upset with me or if someone just needs a friend, I feel like I have to come off happy and handle everything perfectly in order to do be a light in their life,  but NOPE! That’s the sneaky trap that Satan can sometimes use on followers of Jesus that results in more bondage than freedom.

It wasn’t until I read “Fervent” by Priscilla Shirer that I connected perfectionism to a strategy that was being used against me, and I want to let you in on it. Here’s just a little quote from the book to get your mind going. 

She begins the chapter by getting the reader to adjust their thinking to try and see things from our enemy’s perspective. Here’s what she says. “If I were your enemy I’d make everything seem as if it’s yours to handle. I’d have you going, doing, feeling guilty for ever saying no, trying to control it all but just being controlled by it all instead….. If I could keep you busy enough, you’d be too overwhelmed to even realize how much work you’re actually saving me.” 

When I first read this, I got so mad. Mad that I was making Satan’s job easier. Mad at how busy he keeps my mind going without me even realizing. Mad that I had never realized that it was him the whole time and not just a personal trait of mine that I needed to control. 

Later on in the chapter, Priscilla explains how this can resemble slavery in our lives. She goes on to say, “The enemy’s agenda is to always enslave you, and yes he can even enslave you to good things as well. Instead of controlling our own agenda’s, our agenda’s or expectations begin to control us.”

I can testify to that! I’ve had times where new experiences intimidated me because I felt like I had to mentally prepare how I was going to behave. I got to a point where everything I did felt scripted. I questioned everything. I planned out interactions and even preplanned reactions just to make sure I was going to come off friendly or godly... What bondage!

I was convinced I was right in just trying my best to "be like Jesus" to everyone, and thought that maybe one day it would just click and feel more genuine...Wrong! Satan had me trapped just like he has some of you. I was controlled by trying to come off perfect. I was living more for other people rather than for Christ.

Let me just say, if you are having a bad day and accidentally think a negative thought or aren’t extra friendly to everyone, that doesn’t mean your relationship with God is ruined. If you have done everything you can to restore broken relationships and it still isn’t turning out, that doesn't mean it's a reflection of you or how close you are to Jesus. 

If you accidentally sleep in and don’t have time to spend quiet time with the Lord, that’s okay too. We MUST practice giving ourselves grace! Jesus didn’t die for us, for us to live a life chained by perfectionism. If you find yourself in the trap, I want you to know that you are not alone and I also want to encourage you to release some pressure. Do not let Satan have that power over you any longer!

Let me just remind you of who your God is… Your God is a God of grace and mercy. He doesn’t keep a tally of how many times you acted perfect or how many times you didn’t measure up either. He knows you are imperfect, in need of a Savior, and that is why he became your Savior and took the weight of all of your sins and shortcomings and nailed them to the cross.

He has given you His Holy Spirit as a gift to guide you, help you, and walk with you every single day. Don’t feel like the weight of your life rests on your shoulders anymore, because it doesn’t. Satan only wants you to believe that. 

Release expectations. Give yourself grace. Be free.

FYI: If you're interested in checking out this amazing book written by the wonderful Priscilla Shirer, just scroll right back up and click on the title of her book. That will take you straight to where you can buy it. 

I hope this was helpful and encouraging! 

- Crystal Horton