Stressed?

Have you ever been in a season of life where you've felt so incredibly stressed that all you wanted to do was sit alone in your room, scroll on your phone, and escape it all?  Where you wanted to come off happy to the world, but deep down you knew how miserable you truly were?  

Or maybe you've felt overwhelmed because you know you want to be obedient to the Lord, but aren't on board with what He is calling you to do?… Well let me tell ya, all of these feelings were literally how I was before I started my current job about a year ago and boy was it stressful. 

It was about 2 months before my wedding day and I had gotten word from a family friend that a doctor's office was hiring a full time position with benefits and it would only be like 7 minutes away from where I would be living once I got married.

I hadn’t gone searching for it.

Knowing deep down that this could be a good opportunity, I took a leap of faith and called the office. I somehow got an interview not even a week later.

Side note: I wasn’t really on board with this "new job" thing. I wasn't ready to have full time big girl job. I didn't want to face the insecurity and challenge of having to go out on my own for the first time. I wanted to keep my flexible schedule and endless time slots to hang out with friends.

Plus, all I had ever known was a little part time job at a place that I had grown up in and I had never been outside of that “normal bubble.” I would basically have to go out and be “the new girl” for the first time. 

My bubble was familiar. In my bubble, I was comfortable. 

I didn't want to worry about this transition on top of the transition of marriage that was so quickly approaching! All I wanted to worry about was last minute wedding details and then enjoy newlywed life and then figure out a more stable job after that....

I know I know... not the smartest mindset but thats really how I felt.

What kept ringing in my head was the fact that this opportunity had just fallen in my lap. I knew that this was something that the Lord had brought into my life for a reason.

I eventually got the call that I had the job if I wanted it and in an act of obedience, I said yes. I knew I wanted to be obedient to the Lord even though the whole situation stressed me out so bad and went against everything I wanted to do.

Within a couple days of accepting the job, I had received a packet full of job information, stacks of papers to fill out, and a booklet of guidelines for what to expect in the workplace. 

The first few weeks were very hard for me. I was learning computer systems that were so meticulous and the pressure of feeling like I had to get everything right was unbearable. I was so insecure and feared failure and judgement from those around me. 

I woke up anxious every morning. My soul was in major distress. I knew the Lord put me there for a reason so I just had to face it head on and look for the why.

I created a notes section in my phone that I would read every single morning and several times throughout the day to keep me encouraged. I hope this can be encouraging for anyone else who may be going through a similar situation, or just a stressful season in general.

•  Psalms 16:8-9 “I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.”

 Because of this verse I could rest in the fact that…

1. Jesus always goes before me. The unknown is always scary, but the Savior of the world is the one guiding my steps and He is with me every step of the way if I let Him in. (Proverbs 16:9)
2. His power in me is exactly why I have the ability to get through anything. (Isaiah 40:29)
3. I can rest in the fact that there is ALWAYS hope. This hard season will not be my forever! It is just a moment in time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

•  Ephesians 6:16 says, “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one” 

In stressful times like this, the enemy becomes even more intentional about trying to throw believers off. All he wants to do is fan that flame of anxious thinking and make it so bad that we eventually give up on pursuing what Jesus has in store for us. 

1. We must practice faith in every circumstance, at all times. 
2. We must train our minds to look at things through the lens of Christ. Instead of wallowing in self pity, we must remain positive, trying to see all the possibilities that the Lord might be doing in our lives. (Romans 8:5-6)
3. The Lord is loving and His intentions and motives are always good. (Jeremiah 29:11)

And because I love listening to worship music, I thought I would share some of the songs that I kept on repeat during this time:

1. Look what God has done by Corey Voss
2. Rest by Kari Jobe
3. Miracle in Motion by Corey Voss
4. Battle Belongs by Phil Wickham
5. Promises by Maverick City Music
6. Run to the Father by Cody Carnes
7. SOS by We the Kingdom

I’m not saying I have the answer that will cure all the stress in your life, but what I do know is that through prayer, reading scripture, and listening to these songs I was able to move to a better place mentally.

I still have anxious thoughts and stressful days and I still question what the Lord is up to in my life, but I do have an underlying peace that keeps me steady. 

Some things are just up to the Lord to handle, and the only time we may notice it all tie together is when we turn around, look back and see God’s hand in it all. You got this girl! You are not alone! This too shall pass.